Have you noticed your kids becoming unusually quiet, insecure or worried? Or maybe they seem to be more and more irritated, frustrated or even angry lately?
Do you worry about their feelings and emotions? Do you wonder what the unease is all about? Have you started thinking that perhaps they need to seek professional help?
If you are watching your happy daughter or care-free son turn into a confused and anxious kid, and you start worrying yourself then you have EVERY REASON TO.
Every day I’ve been hearing from women who suffer from anxiety, fear, doubt and stress. And every day at least one of them is a mom who is worrying about how her fears and negative emotions impact her kids.
* A happy 15 year old turning into a depressed teen overtaken by anxiety most of the day and unable to focus on assignments and projects at school.
* A sensitive 17 year old experiencing anger rages on a daily basis unable to control his emotions.
* A confident 22 year old drowning in a co-dependent relationship starting to feel insecure and worried.
The list goes on and on.
A coincidence? Unfortunately, not.
According to a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, parents’ anxiety and negative emotions play a huge role in children’s anxieties and feelings of worry.
I know, I know. You do your best to pretend like everything is fine so the kids don’t notice there is a tension and hostility between your spouse and yourself. After you’ve been up all night fighting your anxious thoughts, you put on a happy face with a smile in the morning so they don’t see how exhausted and tired you are. You lock yourself in the bathroom for your daily dose of helpless cry so they don’t see you feeling desperate.
I’m sorry, but unfortunately, it doesn’t help.
Your kids pick up all your feelings. When you are happy and sing while making dinner, they are happy too. When you start feeling down, they pick up on those feelings. On the surface, you may be trying hard to keep things calm in your house, but kids soak up the tension in the household until their fragile little nervous systems hit overload, and then they act out or develop health problems.
When you are feeling stressed, insecure, worried or overwhelmed, they pick up on your emotions. They personalize them as their own and start experiencing all sorts of negative feelings…..anxiety, stress, worry, doubt, fear, insecurity, even depression.
You are A GOOD MOM, you love your kids and you want to help them. So the next logical step you do is research, or signing them up for therapy. But deep down you are just hoping and praying that it will help. Because you don’t want them to end up without the help they may need and see them attend different therapies and try out prescriptions for the rest of their lives.
As counterintuitive as it may seem, if you really want to help your kids, the BEST you can do for them is to start FOCUSING ON YOURSELF. You immediately need to start removing the emotions that are causing your fear, doubt, insecurity or anxiety. When you do that and start feeling peaceful, powerful, optimistic and confident, your kids will pick up on your new vibrations and their emotional health will improve.
I’ve seen it over and over again when working with past clients. As soon as they started feeling happy and content their kids started being happy, confident and care-free again:
* A pre-teen boy stopped experiencing social anxiety after his mom had removed her life-long anxiety and insomnia.
* An insecure and worrying 8 year old turned into a confident and joyfull girl after her mom had removed stress, anxiety and frustration.
I know YOU LOVE your child. And I know you want the best for them. You pay for their piano lessons, soccer practices, tutors and college education. Yes, your child is special. Yes, your child has talents. Yes, your child is bright. Yes, your child deserves the best possible life ….
Don’t let a knife-twisting anxiety, worry or doubt take over your child’s life. Don’t let your child pick up on negative emotions YOU have been experiencing.
I know I can help. I helped my family, I helped my clients and I can help you too.