“How do I know I feel joy?”
She blurted out suddenly in the middle of our coaching session. She is a smart, talented and sophisticated woman who I had been working with for a few weeks. From the outside she had it all – living a comfortable life, having a wonderful family, successful children, caring husband. On the inside, she had been living her personal hell for decades. Unable to rest mentally or physically due to her mind functioning in a highly anxious mode, numbing her emotional pain with food, emotionally reacting to people and situations around her, and not being able to calm her racing mind at night.
How do you know you feel joy? I responded.
“Yes.” She continued. “ How do I get to feel it? I don’t know if I have ever felt joy. I don’t even know what to expect. You talk about feeling joy from inside, but I don’t know what that really looks like. How do I know I feel joy?”
“Let me ask you a question,” I said.
“How do you know you have an orgasm?”
“Hm.” She replied.
“We can study the mechanics of orgasm. We may learn which motor areas are involved and that our brain is working hard to produce a variety of hormones and neurochemicals that flood our system during the process. Having all that knowledge doesn’t help us to achieve and feel an orgasm. And contrary to the popular opinion people have that “we need to do something to achieve an orgasm”, the truth is all we need to do is to get out of our way, to empty our mind, and to completely let go of control. That’s how we achieve a full-blown-full-body-volcano -erupting orgasm.
It’s the same with feeling JOY.
You can’t get there logically.
You can’t get there learning how to do it.
You can’t get there by forcing something, doing something or making something happen.
The only way to feel joy, the true JOY of being radiating from inside and pulsating through every cell of your body is to allow yourself to feel it.
JOY is your natural state.
It’s your most natural state you were born in.
As such, there is nothing you have to do to feel JOY.
The only reason you don’t feel joy right now is because you are not living in your true natural state.
If you have to ask yourself whether you had an orgasm or not, the answer is not.
Because when you have an orgasm, you know it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
The same applies to feeling joy.
If you have to ask whether you felt joy, the answer is no.
When you start feeling real joy, pulsing from the core of your body, you will know it. You will not need to ask. You will know it immediately and you will fall in love with the feeling. And you will not settle for anything less than that.
Now, let’s get you there.” I said and we continued with our coaching.
There is not much of a difference between the idea of achieving orgasm and living an enriched way of life.
If you want to achieve a full body, mind-shattering, consciousness-exploding orgasm, you need to get out of your way. You need to go beyond your thoughts, beliefs and patterned actions. You need to go beyond feelings of unworthiness, shame, guilt or doubt. You need to allow yourself to go to the place of the emptiness and fullness at the same time. When you do that, you allow your system to do what it is designed to be doing and you’ll never settle for a maintainance sex again.
The same principles apply for living an enriched and fulfilled life.
When you look around you see top-performers, executives and entrepreneurs, filling their calendars with tasks and actions.
They use busy action to fill their days.
They use motivation to keep themselves going.
They use discipline to achieve their goals.
They try to fit themselves into their clients’ demands so they can get their share of a pie.
They live for Friday evenings, weekends and vacations. More often than not, they are not even able to enjoy one.
They live for the day when they will be finally happy, feeling fulfilled.
Yes, they achieve success, they achieve results, but the price they pay is always bigger – they are mentally and physically exhausted.
Responding to people and conditions.
There is a better way, an easier way to achieve the life of your dreams.
There is an easier way to create a massive impact.
It’s the way to recognize that there is nothing outside yourself you need to change, in order to change your life.
It’s the way to go to your natural self.
If you are not feeling joy and if you are not living with ease, you are resisting your natural self.
Any time you find yourself in a situation where it seems like life is exhausting, you are full of fear or doubt, life gets hard, your days are filled with stress and frustration, other people are not understanding you, that is your first clue there – you are doing something that is not your job.
You are resisting to being your natural self.
Not living as your true self is the most exhausting thing to do.
It is not your job to make things happen with force and willpower.
It is not your job to drag the world kicking and screaming into your liking.
It’s your job to realize the world is in you.
Your only job is to be fully alive.
To feel JOY.
To feel passion.
To feel excitement.
It’s when you allow yourself to live in that state you’ll see magic happening in your life.
Molding matter into unexpected and unimaginable.
Giving rise to your brilliant ideas and unique talents.
Creating extraordinary fulfilling experiences for yourself and others that go beyond the expectations of the average person.
You have the power to create your dreams and visions easily and effortlessly through living in your most natural state.
It’s possible for you.
Just like it was possible for my client who a few weeks after she asked me the question had for the first time in her life in her fifties started feeling the incredible, pure joy pulsating from the inside of her body.